No, I'm not a Jonas

Brother, I'm a grown up.

I was watching one of my teen angsty shows and one of the young lovers confessed that he cheated on their relationship. This got me thinking; is confessing really good for the confeser or the confesee?? Is it good for anyone. They say ignorance is bliss, and I kind of believe it.
It can be applied to any situation actually, if you think about it; confessing to cheating, stealing or lying, etc. You know, all 10 of the commandments, basically.
So if confessing against a sin, the confessor is the one that is ridding themselves of burden, right? I mean, they are getting it off their chest, they are the ones clearing their conscience.
Now they've gone and out all this pressure onto the confessee. They could've thought that maybe thier relationship wasn't in the best place necessarily, but now they know that their trust in the confessor has been thrown away. Or has it? I mean, yeah, the confessor did break a rule, but they fessed up. That's worth something, right?
Then there's the other scenario, where the confessor doesn't confess but gets caught later on. Is that better? They were trying to save that burden from the confessee and keep it to themselves and something they will live with forever, and it in turns ends up backfiring, because it looks like they are now a liar.
I don't know what would be better, honestly.
I just know that if that was me, I wouldn't fess up. I would take that to the grave with me.
Deny, deny, deny........

If you should ever find someone new,

I know she'd better be good to you.............

Totally random update;

• I hate being brokeass.
• I start work in a week. YAH!!
• I don't get paid until the end of the month. BOO!!
• Happy Birthday Daddy!
• Why do my parents INSIST on living on a blasted haunted house?!?! (I'll update about that later)
• Damn you Gary!!
• Damn, I have a lot of spelling mistakes on this blog. I wish there was a spell check before posting.
• Halloween party was the bomb. Thanks Meli

Ok, that's it.

Bye!

Shhhhhhh.........

..........My foots sleeping on the gas.

Dear Life,

I know I haven't really been good too you and you've given me nothing my support and love. You've given me oppurtunities and second, third and fourth chances and I keep fucking you over. You deserve so much more from me, and I feel disgusted that I haven't been what you were hoping for, what you were investing into a relationship. I feel like things have been moving too quickly and I've always just been behind by a couple days, but that's always been more than enough time to mess up what we were building towards.
I think you deserve better. You deserve some who appreciated the efforts made, who takes advantage and completes what's been handed to them. Someone who recriprocates those emotions and feelings back to you.
I guess you can call this my 'Dear John' letter.
I think we should break up.
Please don't call me or email me anymore.

Have a good one,
Love,
llleeesssaaa

***Disclaimer, i'm not suicidal or anything, just venting and self pitying****

I used to have hood dreams

Big fame, Big chains

Hellomynameisllleeesssaaaandiam
mediocre

Transformed into firearm.....

POW

.........like Megatron

So I guess i'm learning the hard way, that the grass isn't greener in the yard next door. Especially when the neighbour promises of a brand new lawn mower and hedge trimmer. Especially, when I realise that the property is actually a rental piece and there hasn't been a steady tenant ever. Especially since I realised that the home owner actuallly kicked out the previous tenant, because they didn't like them. Next time, I decide to move houses, I should reallly look into the neighbourhood and the actual block that the property is on. Lesson learned the hard way.
Mind you, because I am in dire need to move out now, I am again looking for anything that I can find within my budget, even another rental property.
But i'm promising myself, that my next steady yard will be a well thought of place and not necessarily just a move on a whim.......

I put you in the game and.........

..........there you go complaining

There just seems to be soooo much going on, but it's to the point where there's toooo much is going on. However, everytime I come to write about something my mind goes blank.
So instead, I post these:

I'm not here for your entertainment

You don't really want to mess with me tonight

Maybe it's just me and maybe this explains why i'm single, but I hate it, like DESPISES it when a girl has to change who she is for a dude! Why the f*ck can't a girl be the same person she is with her friends and boyfriend/husband?!?! Don't change your voice when you pick up the phone, don't front like you don't do stuff you know you do, and lastly, don't drop jack all for him!
I've known too many girls that do all this crap for these dudes. And it's not even like they're really good guys. They've put these girls through sh*t and the girls still let them get away with it. Hell, most of the girls i'm talking about are still with these guys. Now, it's true, it's not necessarily the guys fault if he's an ass, but c'mon now girls, you've cuss'd me out for less than what they've done to you!
I'm soooo tired of being put on the blasted back burner because the guy suddenly realises that he has time for you.

F*UCK YOU!!

Back behind this little smile I wore......

......How I wished that you were mine.

FML

While on a date with a new suitor this was the conversation that went down:

Me: What kind of girls do you usually go for?
Him: I'm usually attracted to the beautiful girls. You know, the ones who stop traffic and captures everyones attention when they walk into the room......
Me: ***blushes, while smiling broadly***
Him:.....but those girls usually dump me for the hot guy with the luxury sports car and penthouse condos. So i've since decided to only date ugly girls with low self esteem who can't get a better guy
Me: ***Blank stare***

I've been a victim of

A selfish kinda love

Teefed itttttt

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:00 a.m.
2. How do you like your steak? medium - rare
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? G-Force
4. What is your favorite TV show? Not really a t.v show type a gal
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Hawaii or Bora Bora
6. What did you have for breakfast? Tea
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Japanese
8. What foods do you dislike? Anythign with eggplant....yuck!
9. Favorite Place to Eat? Anywhere yummy
10. Favorite dressing? Renee's creamy caesar
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? Toyota Corolla
12. What are your favorite clothes? Jogging pants and a big t-shirt....or nothign at all ;)
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? India or Japan (I concur)
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full ? It's just a drink........
15. Where would you want to retire? Hawaii or Bora Bora
16. Favorite time of day? Anytime i'm not at work.......
17. Where were you born? Trinbago
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Basketball
19. Do you love the one you're with? I love myself, yes
20. What's the freakiest place you've done "it"? I don't have sex anymore, I'm a born again
21. Are you naughty or nice? Nice
22. Bird watcher? Nope
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night, definately not a morning person
24. Do you have any pets? Nope
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I'm bored
26. What did you want to be when you were little? A lawyer or banker
27. What is your best childhood memory? Learning to swim in Florida, I guess
28. Are you a cat or dog person? both
29. Are you married? Nope
30. Always wear your seat belt? If i'm in the front seats, yes.
31. Been in a car accident? Yes
32. Any pet peeves? Too many to list
33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Hot peppers, anchovies, bacon bits (not strips), tomatoes, mushrooms
34. Favorite Flower? I don't know what they're called
35. Favorite ice cream? Cotton Candy, or hokey pokey
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Harvey's
37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Nada
38. From whom did you get your last email? Monique
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? I dunno....
40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Nope
41. Like your job? Nope
42. Broccoli? Yup
43. What was your favorite vacation? Haven't really been on one
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Melito Big Daddy's crab shack
45. What are you listening to right now? Nada
46. What is your favorite color? Pink
47. How many tattoos do you have? 4
48. What's the wildest thing you've ever done? I'm a homebody.....don't really do the "wilding out"
49. What time did you finish this quiz? 11:19 am
50. Coffee Drinker? Only in frozen or cold forms

That nasty boogie bugs me

but somehow how it has drugged me.

I am going to a strip club with my mother and my aunts tonight.

That's all.

You're throwing stones......

without your hands......

And the whole world has to answer right now
'Cause to tell you once again:

Who's Bad (lands)

HAHAHAHA

You know I had to throw in MJ.

Thought i was in love with money

Till the first time we did the nasty

I want a new car.
I want a condo and a new car.
I want a 3 bedroom condo and a new car.
I want a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom condo and a new car.
I want a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom condo with a den and a new car.
I want a higher paying job so that I can afford my 3 bedroom 2 bathroom with a den condo and a new car.
I want a higher paying job with less hours so that I can afford my 3 bedroom 2 bathroom with a den condo and a new car.
I want a job where I don't have to work to make lots of money so that I can afford my 3 bedroom 2 bathroom with a den condo and a new car.
I want a job in Hawaii where I don't have to work to make lots of money so that I can afford my 3 bedroom 2 bathroom with a den condo and a new car.
I want a job in Hawaii or Bora Bora where I don't have to work to make lots of money so that I can afford my 3 bedroom 2 bathroom with a den condo and a new car.
I want a new car.

walk away.........

"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, even months analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, should've, would've happened or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."

- Tupac Shakur

I'm losing you..........

.............and it's effortless

"There's a luggage limit for every passenger on a flight. The same rules apply to your life. You must elimiate some baggage before you can fly."

- Rosalind Johnson

Let's rearrange.....

I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Random thought Thursday......because of her Random Thoughts Tuesday's.

☼ My mother thinks i'm a lesbian. I haven't had a boyfriend in god knows how long and I have two really good friends who are also single and I like to pinch my mother's butt. Well, not just her butt, I pinch her on her arms and legs too, but only because it's fun. I pinch my dad and my baby and Meli too. She's even gone as far as to get my grandmother in Trinidad to find "a good Trini boy" for me. No dice so far.

☼ My parents bought their own anniversary present. Meli and I were told that we have to get my parents a trip for my parents to Cuba. Since Meli paid for their trip to Bahamas for their 30th anniversary, I decided to pay for this one. Well, I have no money, and my credit card is in the negatives, I couldn't afford it. SO my dad bought it on his and I have to pay them back in installments.

☼ I passed my course. I got a 68%, but whatever a pass is a pass.

☼ I now have the great job of trying to find summer camps for baby for the summer. She likes dancing and singing and swimming. She's into the arts. There's no dance camps in our region and the swimming classes start at SwimKids 4. She's a SwimKids 1.

☼ I went to a martini bar and didn't drink any martini's. In fact, I was baited out with a big wine glass while everyone had martini glasses. Same when I went clubbing, I had a big red plastic cup and everyone else had clear plastic clubs.
*Hello, my name is llleeesssaaa and I don't drink!!!!!!!*

☼ Baby wants to invite the bully from the beginning of the year to her birthday party. I guess it's good that's they're over they're differences. If she want it, she gets it.

That's it.

My ode to Meli

YOU SUCK!!!



but i still luv ya!!!

I forgot to say outloud, how beautiful you really are to me......

I can't be without, you're my perfect little punching bag

Dear Mr. Right,

I know you are out there looking for me, as I am for you. One day, we will meet (again), because I am sure I met you three years ago, when I went clubbing with my friends. You were my dream guy. No really, everything I thought you would be (down to your name and age). It was my self-sabotage that once again deflected you. I know that I will meet you again and we will live happilly ever after forever and ever and ever because you will have forgiven me for acting a fool 3 years ago. I am (somewhat) waiting patiently. Standing at 6ft, you will weight between 150-175 and have curly hair. You do not gel your hair or put any of that crap in it. I know you will have a good job and your own car and goals in lilfe. I know you will be funny, and smart and enjoy good food because you can cook. You will also be tolerate of my mood swings and my need to watch anything reality and my constant hunger.
I don't even need to put in how you need to feel about my daughter because that is a given.
Can't wait to meet you (again)!!

Sincerely Yours,
llleeesssaaa

Happy Mother's Day (two days late)

Mother's day is too serious.
Take some time to laugh.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY .
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry
About."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10.. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."


12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents Like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"


20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

Everyday love me your own special way

Melt all my heart away with a smile

Saw this as I was randomly watching some videos on my phone one night because I couldn't sleep. This definately brought on the lol's late at night, heck even in the daytime, it brings out the lol's.

I need to get past my Caspers........

Ok, so you might have noticed that I re-used my title. That is because I am still gettiing random hits off google even though I changed the title of my previous post.
Anywho, I'm on a budget, if you don't already know this, read up yo. Withthat being said, i'm not really a coupon clipping, flyer watching type person, so these websites might come in handy. So here you go, some coupons clipping site (because we're in a recession, and need to stretch every dollar), without the clipping:

smartcanucks.ca
redflagdeals.com
flyerland.ca
ilovesamples.com
thebudgetfashionista.com
currentcodes.com
coupons.smartsource.com
save.ca

Adios!!