Friday, August 27, 2010

One prayer - Tell God to forgive for one sin

Matter fact, maybe more than one

Word Vomit
  • I like Chris Brown more than Rihanna. I get it, he abused her and I think he should get some fingernails pulled out for that, but he is dealing with his reprimand. I also think Rihanna tries to hard. I just don't like her; her fashion sense, her artistic expression, her choices. Her songs since the attach haven't really been that good (IMO). The only songs that she sings that get alot of radio play are songs that she sings the hook on. She's kind of like the Neptunes (but I ♥ them). Onthe other hand, I am all about Chris Brown's songs post Rihanna beating.As a person, again I only know what I am exposed to through the media and since he is more or less shamed off the face of the Earth, I am not made aware of his doings. But i like the way he dresses more than the way Rihanna dresses and that is all I need to base my opinion on, thankyouverymuch.
  • I would like to know what goes through a dead-beat-dads (shall be refered to as DBD from this point on) head. I would just like to shadow them for a couple months (and get paid too, of course) and see how they fuction and what their mentality is. I really hate generalising and saying that all DBD are that way because they choose to be so and by no means of their own can't help it and that sometimes it's just society's way of stereotyping them. I mean, I know some single dads who take an active roll in their kids life. I want to know what makes those "bad apples" such bad apples. At which point do they decide that 'hey, maybe I didn't want this kid' and 'hey, maybe this isn't even my kid' and 'a mother can raise a child by herself, because maybe that kid doesn't even need another roll model in their life'. Because as we all know, the world is not filled with enough kids that know both their parents. I don't understand this natural responsibilty that comes over someone when they have a child as being absent. And again, i'm not necessarily blaming the DBD, because as a mother (the only view I know) it has always been to put my daughter first, and her needs and wants are my priority and responsibilty. She is me and everything (everything!) I do serves some purpose to her life. I want to find out where and what makes that disconnect happen to the DBD.
  • I think I might have been (in some subconscious, change the world type of way) responsible for what is happening. When someone asked what's new or what's going on in my life, I would always say 'nothing' or 'same old, same old'. I didn't mean it in a negative way and I wasn't complaining. I like consistency, I like regularity. I am not ooposed to change but I don't necessarily need it all the time. And then this happens. The worst possible change. I don't want it. I want it to go back to where my life was a constant. More so, I want my family to be celebrating the impending birth of another fat kid, instead of doubts and worries and unsettling prospects of what may, can and hasn't come/happened.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”
- Carrie Bradshaw
(You know the funny thing with Carrie is that I don't think she should've ended up with Big. They ruined so many lives and relationships only to end up together. Team Aidan!!)