Friday, March 12, 2010

All I want to do is please you

Please myself by living my life too……………

My review on the Element of Freedom Tour:

First of all, let me say that on the way there I was muchos excited to be getting street meat as I live in a suburb and they do have street meat, but it’s hella expensive and doesn’t quite cut it. Meli ended getting me a spicy Italian sausage (holla!) and I was going to get to indulge in more than one luxury tonight. Yay!! Turns out the sausage was bad!!! I feel like I’m going to gag right now actually just thinking about it. Boo!! Turned me off of street meat for I don’t know how long at this point.
I digress.
We then get inside and Meli makes a beeline for the cotton candy and popcorn. She is now ready to endure Melanie Fiona and Robin Thicke while waiting for Alicia Keys. Meli convinces me to get something to eat, b/c I usually eat supper when I get home from work, but today had to rush out of the house after taking a quick shower and changing up. Yes, I did put on make up too. So I got some Nachos and Cheese to get past Melanie Fiona. Do you know that extra cheese or salsa or jalapeno cost $1 each!! WTF!!! I asked the cashier why was it that expensive (b/c at the movies you can get them for free), she said it was b/c we had to pay for the little containers. Hi, for the retail value of those tickets, we could’ve bought 120 boxes of the containers!!
Anyways, I digress again. Do you see how easy it is for me to get distracted when there’s food involved? I ♥ food.
Opening Act was Melanie Fiona. I don’t really follow her, so I didn’t know the songs. Her first song had an intro of the “bang bang” song. I liked that song from Kill Bill. But everything else was kind of meh. She tried to get the crowd involved, but I guess no one was really into it. I felt kind of bad for her, b/c she was in her home town. Actually, the crowd didn’t get hyped up until Kardinal Offishall just came out to make an appearance. I think he got more of a round of applause than Melanie did for her whole set! Interesting fact, I found out Melanie Fiona was Guyanese and she was waving her Canadian Flag! Haha. I’ll post some pics of it later.
Second Act was Robin Thicke. I don’t even know where to start. Everything about Robin Thicke’s act was wonderful. He danced, he sang, he enticed the concert goers. He missed a couple of high notes that he got on the CD, but I guess live singing didn’t really work to well, and there are no do overs. He came out wearing sunglasses and I have things about people who wear sunglasses at night or indoors in which case the concert was both, unless medically required and I’m assuming they weren’t, because after the first song, they came off. Meli was expecting more of the crooning, but he was all over the stage. He tried to get the crowd involved too by clapping and putting their hands up, but not many people were that interested again, I guess. Mind you, I loooovovvveeee Robin Thicke, but even I didn’t even participate. He did however, have a red baby grand that he absolutely seduced (along with most of the females that populated the concert, so 99.8% of the crowd). I will post some more pics of that later too. Meli actually got a video of him dancing which was cute. Not sexy, but cute. I will try to post that later. I am and forever will be a Robin Thicke fan. Plus he sang “A milli”…..well, rapped it. We have that on video too.
The Main Act was Alicia Keys. She came out singing in a cage. That was kind of wicked. She tried to incorporate more dancers in this show than the last one. Come to think of it, I don't think she had any dancers in the last tour. I have to admit I was a little surprised. She's very talented, but I wouldn't necessarily think that dancing for her forte. If I wanted to see dancing, I would watch a music video though. I didn't really care for it. She sounded like she had a cold or sore throat. SHe kept drinking her water, it looked like her throat was getting dry alot. I still thought she sang exceptionally, she has so much talent especially when she sang any song with the piano and when she did "Sleeping with a Broken Heart", she did everything herself for that song. I really wish there was more emphasis on her and her music though. To me, she looked like she was trying to be Beyonce. And you already know I can't stand Beyonce. Please, oh, please just let her stay a positive role model for the simple fact that she has musical talent, she's female and she wears clothes!! She doesn't just gyrate around the stage. Please don't let her be trying to change her reputation.
But that's how I saw it.
On the way out, Meli got her foot run over by a woman carrying one of those really big trashcans. It was funny to watch her waddle and limp and the same time, lol. But when she got home, she told me that she was bleeding. Not so funny.

Monday, March 8, 2010

My not so secret crush

I'm going to see my love on Wednesday.

You can hate me now

P.S I think i have a thing for skinny white dudes. Meh.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Har de har har

I thought it was funny


After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Madam,

Target appreciates your business and values you as a customer. However, over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.

We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were..

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Everybody's cool, but

Y’all. Just. ain’t. Me.

Word Vomit:
• Still at ends with BabyGirl’s teacher. Mo, you don’t know how envious I am of you right now. Especially with the historical reading that you guys are doing. I have BabyGirl doing some extra curricular learning too, but now I feel like a slave driver, b/c of all the extra work she’s doing. Ughhhh
• Weather’s turning out to be a-ok.
• Mo, email me at work. I don’t really respond to my personal email that much anymore, my phone is broken and I’m never online at home
• P.S My stinkin’ iphone is broken. Damn waste of space and time.
• Still as single as ever. But you know what I’ve noticed, between family and friends and extracurricular activities (including sleeping and eating), I really don’t have any extra time to maintain a relationship.
• Party planning is turning out to be great. I want to do this stuff full time!!
• Trying to plan out summer vacation this year, the only thing I’m sure of it the amount of time, I DON’T have for vacation.
• BabyGirl is a ninja Princess
• Daddy’s gone a trip and not coming back until next week. As long as he brings back goodies, I’m content!
• There are you happy now John?!?!!?!?